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November 27 It makes sense, I supposeThank you to the person who has directed me today towards the masculine form of "nymphomania", I had no idea that there was such a thing. "Satyrisis", apparently.
I would also like to point out to aforementioned person that it is in fact the masculine form and therefore there is in fact no possibility that it applies to me.
It's a nice word, though, I quite like the Bacchean (?) pairing of nymphs and satyrs. Maybe I'm thinking of this in terms of Narnia a bit too much. I'm sure that's not what C. S. Lewis meant.
Emotions now returned to as near as I can get to normal, thanks be to everyone who helped. I think it was just a case of getting it all out and reiterating a few important things. I don't really know what to say now except that you must think I'm a) melodramatic and b) a bit of an arse. Which I suppose I am, to all intents and purposes.
OH! and one more thing, I have it on good authority that "Klein" as in "Klein bottle" (for which I have found a wonderful hat pattern of which I intend to make use, yes indeed) is in fact pronounced /klaın/ as in Calvin Klein, not /kli:n/ as in Clean. So tell him from me that his German is atrocious. November 26 Things I have learned today - volume 2
Okay, seriously now. Denying the Holocaust is a terrible, terrible thing. But as a civilisation we are past that now and I personally am inclined to say that freedom of speech is important and worth fighting for and that is for EVERYBODY, not just for the people we like. And Oxford University is not a place full of idiots, it is full of rational, capable people who see both sides of an argument and have both the inclination and the opportunity to do so. And as long as both sides of any argument, be it about politics or religion or evolution or anything, no matter how the evidence is weighted or whatever the truth is, as long as every side of the argument is presented we are in a position to be able to make a reasoned judgement as individuals, and that is the important thing as far as any of this is concerned. You can't ignore things because you think, or know, or whatever, that they are wrong: that does not stop them from existing. And the important part of a speech is the listeners and the effect that it has on them. So therefore, I think - and you are quite welcome to agree or disagree with me - but I think that every person is entitled to freedom of speech, as long as he or she is not hurting other people. We are above this, ladies and gentlemen. (Thanks for the offer, by the way, C - I think you have something to tell me, though? Who said they'd keep me updated? DETAILS!) More than one person has agreed with me today quite how fantastic M is. "You absolutely completely prod buttock, in no uncertain terms... You are, in the popular parlance, one hell of an individual." I use here the words of a master. November 25 As it is...I love that I hear about these things. Fuck it. FUCK. IT.
Well, today, as with every day, I am miles from reality and everything that is happening in my own back yard. Lucky, LUCKY me.
Yes, yes at the moment I do feel lonely, generally unwanted and pointless. In eight days, I shall be explaining why I am fantastic to people who have never met me and are frankly skeptical anyway. I shall be lying through my teeth and at the same time telling them how deplorable I think such practice is.
So hate me. It'll make all the difference, I know. November 24 Please tell me someone else finds this funnyThis made my evening. I know it isn't funny but it did.
Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side.
Please tell me you at least smiled. Well, this is interestingIt's been quite an interesting day, actually. Quite a lot that I shan't bore you with, but it involves a new manager at work, who may be lovely or may be jobsworth or may be a combination of the two, I haven't decided yet. She seems nice enough, but she's very good with the occasional putdown. Otherwise, seems to be a recent graduate from the Acronyms and Empowerment (A and E?) School of Management. As a result of which I am now aware of the Three As: Acknowledge, Approach, and Ask, and have discovered that I am a Valued Member of the Team. After the Health and Safety demo of a few weeks ago, this is a highly exciting revelation. I await developments.
Matt Di Angelo dancing is a work of art.
Tomorrow, I would like to have the first lie in I will have had in several weeks, and the first I can have for several more. I am shattered. Unfortunately, this may or may not happen due to the presence of Other Members Of This Household Who Would LOVE To Have A Lie In.
Top Gear makes me happy; otherwise, I have a bit of a headache. Could quite do with a bit of interesting conversation, actually. Please? November 23 Be afraidDear Prospective Future Employers,
Thank you, first of all, for taking the time to look me up on MSN and/or Facebook; hopefully this means you are actually considering me for a job. This is very nice of you. I would like to point out a few things that you may misinterpret from my blog in particular.
That is all that I can think of... for the time being. Dear Prospective Fraudsters/Identity Thieves/Stalkers/Anyone else after my personal details for less-than-above-board motives: I don't have a credit card, don't worry. There's really no point. November 20 Beating the weatherIt's the corniest of things, wandering back up to college in the rain, grinning like a Cheshire cat because it's raining and I want people to smile too. They didn't, of course, this is England, and I imagine I looked a bit of a prat, or even a lot of a prat, but it made me feel better about life and it made it easier to walk up the hill without stopping or even waiting, and when I got back up to college I tramped into the library (nodded at the lovely ladies at the desk), sat myself down triumphantly at a desk and read some Stephen Fry, which R in his wisdom has leant me because I couldn't find it anywhere else.
The point of this exercise, that is, smiling while it's raining, was to stop myself being morbid and to try and cheer up people going past. While the latter was never going to happen (passing the smile only happens in books if you're not planning on stopping for a conversation, especially on a wet day in November), this November out of all of them is the smiliest that I remember.
Do yourself some good and try it, is my tip. Nobody else is watching. They're all eyes glued to the pavements, looking out for five pound notes. November 16 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPeople, you heard Maid Marion. Help save Pudsey from Guy of Gisborn. Only then can you unclench your buttocks at how utterly, unashamedly EXCRUCIATING that just was.
I think I am about to slit my own throat, or potentially the throats of quite a lot of script writers.
Richard Armitage. Really. I thought you were better than this. November 14 Greetings from Further North Than UsualSat as we speak on a surprisingly lumpy chair mid-adventure. I feel like I've had a very adventurous day, including a train and not including three others (which apparently is Botley's fault, not entirely sure how) and a pink bus, and several very friendly inhabitants of Leamington.
And when I actually got where I was meant to be... well, that's been a bit of an adventure too, and continues to be so, and include quite a lot of people, of whom I remember the names of only a few. Four. Ish. Probably.
But yes, this was going to be very interesting, only I haven't drafted it in my head first like I normally (...sometimes) do. So it's not, really.
Oh yes, and I've had the strangest apple juice known to mankind, mainly because the rest of the apple ws still in it in a not particularly recognisable form. Which is okay, as long as you're not looking at it when you drink it (if you do, you get a bit of a shock).
So I may well continue this when I've thought it through a bit. Or... not. Hmm. November 13 As promisedHere you go.
So that's that. Well, I thought it was amusing. (I thought it was housework, I have to admit, but then I didn't realise it was compiled by an organisation called "Joy of Movement" which makes it far too easy, right?)
Watching Sleepy Hollow. I can't believe I haven't seen this before. In fact, that's a lie, I can believe it but it's still pretty good. MusingsToday has got more interesting as it has progressed. This morning was rubbish, Economics was not worth wasting the effort on as ever, Maths homework on VOLES of all things, and that's not some important scientific term, I actually mean the small furry animals.
Coffee and blueberry muffin, passable breakfast-midmorning Thing but I could have done with a bit more calculus to be getting on with if you can believe it.
And then an arm came off my glasses because a screw fell out, and the lovely lady at Vision Express stuck it back on for me. Which was very nice of her, and I thought I should mention it because it cheered me up somewhat.
And then I came back up to college and sat in I.T. with T and read something he's writing over his shoulder and talked about good books and the Pit and the Pendulum. It's really nice to find somebody new who's well-read, they always have a few suggestions that you've never come across. Also, we were looking at today's BBC News Mini-quiz and I shall upload a photo of it this evening when I can do (college computers are useless again - they've banned perplexus too, why, exactly?!) because it is a little absurd and it made us smile.
English coursework makes me sick because I know I'm right but I also know I'm going to get marked down for it. Remembrance Day also makes me sick because I now feel like a hypocrite. I shall go out tomorrow and do some Christmas/miscellaneous birthday shopping and damn the Eternal Spiral of Consumerism, such as it is.
THE PROPERLY SCHOLARLY ATTITUDE - Adelaide Crapsey (no really, that is her name)
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The poet pursues his beautiful theme; The preacher his golden beatitude; And I run after a vanishing dream— The glittering, will-o’-the-wispish gleam Of the properly scholarly attitude— The highly desirable, the very advisable, The hardly acquirable, properly scholarly attitude. I envy the savage without any clothes, Who lives in a tropical latitude; It’s little of general culture he knows. But then he escapes the worrisome woes Of the properly scholarly attitude— The unceasingly sighed over, wept over, cried over, The futilely died over, properly scholarly attitude. I work and I work till I nearly am dead, And could say what the watchman said—that I could! But still, with a sigh and a shake of the head, “You don’t understand,” it is ruthlessly said, “The properly scholarly attitude— The aye to be sought for, wrought for and fought for, The ne’er to be caught for, properly scholarly attitude—” I really am sometimes tempted to say That it’s merely a glittering platitude; That people have just fallen into the way, When lacking a subject, to tell of the sway Of the properly scholarly attitude— The easily preachable, spread-eagle speechable, In practice unreachable, properly scholarly attitude. November 10 UCAS update #2This goes somewhat more along the lines of "Screw you, LSE." For the main reason that I've just got a letter saying I've got an interview at Corpus next month. Many cheers, because at least this means I am not utterly crap and being dismissed out of hand by anyone vaguely distinguished. I am really rather looking forward to this now.
On a completely different note, Dave is amazing. As in the television channel. L has just found it's rerunning old Mighty Boosh as well.
She likened something to a flan in a cupboard earlier. I feel this is a mighty step forward in her education, and am duly proud. November 09 UCAS update #1LSE don't want me. This is as I expected, and I don't mind in the slightest, because *frankly* that was the place I was least interested in going anyway, I'm not sure it would really have been for me even if I had got in, and that's not any sour grapes talking. But the fact remains that it is the first reply that I got back and that's a little disappointing. I can only hope that it won't be a precedent. Don't tell me it won't, only time can tell. There's nothing really else I can do.
Ah well. November 08 As things areI was off ill yesterday, sorry to anyone who missed me particularly, and I've been shut away working for most of today - English coursework that despite various efforts remains unfinished, and Maths Challenge. Maths Challenge always makes me feel worse about the state my mental maths is in these days, but today even more so - I can concentrate now, I don't have a splitting headache... but still, something wasn't there. The grass is always greener, right? Well, today I was pretty glad I've chosen Law instead.
I lay on the sofa with a fire all yesterday afternoon and watched Tuesday's Spooks, which was a good'un, and also Britz which I'd recorded and meant to watch - see it. Few inaccuracies (as pointed out by the lovely gentleman reviewing for the Mirror, apparently, thank you for that) but still thought-provoking, clever, empathetic (? is that a word?) and on top of all that watchable and 95% believable. Good acting. Good script. Whoever directed it can be very proud of themselves too. And the ending was not at all as I expected it to be, or buttock-clenchingly cliched, which makes all the difference.
It is now that I am very conscious that I live in Winchester. When I get the time, I shall be researching a little bit more.
I am quite pleased with myself, on an entirely different note, that I've managed to book myself a train to Leamington and back next week for £23. That's about £10 less than if I'd got an open return, and about the same again less than if I hadn't had my lovely new Railcard :) which after three weeks or so has now paid for itself. So this is all good, and now I can afford to go out and treat myself, probably. I shall wait a few weeks, just to make sure that this is the case, and then go and buy something decadent. Like another cup of coffee. With CREAM.
Did I mention that life's big questions like "why are we here?" and "for god's sake Fiona why don't you shut up?" are catching up with me again? Pointless-pointless-pointless. Still. It's November, and I was a hell of a lot worse this time last year.
I wonder if it's just that last year I was somewhere new where I didn't know as many people.
I wonder what'll be happening to me this time next year.
Pointless-pointless-pointless-pointless-WORK. November 02 This is just good.I was going to say justice, but no, it's just brilliant. Get this.
L and I are both babysitting tonight, in different places.
L is babysitting for two girls, aged 7 and 10, both about as exciting as day-old rice pudding. No internet access, but they've just recently upgraded from four channels of television to freeview, cheers cheers.
I, on the other hand, am babysitting for a 9-year-old girl and her 6-year-old brother. He's been chucking himself off chairs all evening, before asking me if he can have a go at my knitting and quietly going to bed. She and I stayed up til 9.30 playing tennis on their new Wii. I am now watching UKTV Gold on Sky and surfing Youtube.
L's getting £20 for this, and is expecting to be home about betweein 12.30 and 1. I'm getting home about half an hour earlier with any luck... and getting paid more.
This makes me very happy.
Twenty hours to go. |
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